From the Beverage Aisle: Pepsi Holiday Spice

Pepsi Holiday Spice
Company: Pepsi Cola
Years: 2004/2006

*takes a sip*
"What was that........ugh.....WHAT.....WAS......THAT??!??!??! *spits angrily*
I said get me a Pepsi, Carl...........wait, what the hell is this? Pepsi Holiday Spice?? What in the name of all that is holy is this crap??? *takes another, smaller sip* *spits angrily again*
EWW -UCH! Carl, I understand that you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, but when I want a Pepsi, get me a damn Pepsi, not this.....Holiday......what it is......Holday Spice shit. Limited edition....I should hope so, because people shouldn't be subjected to this poor excuse for a soda any longer then humanly possible. Ugh! The taste!! IT BURNS MY LIPS! IT BURNS MY LIPS!!!!
What is IN this???? *looks at ingredients*. CINNAMON??!??! WHY WOULD YOU PUT CINNAMON IN A PERFECTLY GOOD SODA??!!?!?!?! I MEAN, WHY NOT JUST COME OUT WITH PEPSI SUMMER BLEND, MADE WITH @$%&*&% SUNSCREEN? OR PEPSI SHINE, MADE WITH SHOE POLISH?????? MY GOD, CARL, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. THE TASTE WON'T LEAVE MY MOUTH.......ITS JUST SITTING IN THERE, REMINDING ME WHAT AN IDIOT I AM FOR TRUSTING YOU TO COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK LIKE GET ME A REGULAR PEPSI *&$%@#* COLA FROM THE FRIDGE! WHY WOULD THEY EVEN MAKE THIS STUFF?!?!? WHY, GOD......WHY?!?!?! *beats head on wall*.

I think my first/last encounter with Pepsi Holiday Spice went something like that. I might be over exaggerating a bit. But probably not.

I actually know people who liked this stuff. Yeah, I know, right?

Sold for a limited time in 2004, then brought back for a short stint in 2006.
Kind of like when you do something really stupid, then a few years later you start thinking about it again and wonder "maybe it was just a fluke that it didn't work out the first time around, I should give it another shot!" And you do, and quickly realize that it wasn't a fluke, it was just a dumb idea in the first place.

That's Pepsi Spice in a nutshell.

A Chestnut shell. Ha!

Happy Holidays from Gone But Not Forgotten Groceries!

From the Cereal Aisle: S'mores Crunch

S'mores Crunch Cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1982-1988

Photo by Greg Koenig

Of all the cereals from my childhood, S'mores Crunch has to be in my top 5 cereals I'd bring back if I ever ran for President of the United States and won. Which in this day and age, with all the money floating around the elections, is pretty tough to do. I mean, sure, maybe if some of you chipped in and started a Super PAC for me and were able to donate a few million dollars each, then maybe. But as it sits right now, it's a long shot at best, so you can probably just count on S'mores Crunch remaining discontinued, and that's a damn shame. Because it was delicious.

Launched in 1982, S'mores Crunch was, to put it simply, Golden Grahams with marshmallows.
But when you cut down to the core of what made it great, it was more then that......it was truly special. It was grahams. It was chocolate. It was marshmallow. It was rainbows. It was unicorns. It was love.

It was all those things in a bowl (but mostly just the first 3).

You might remember the commercials for S'mores, which not unlike every kids cereal commercial made from the dawn of man, involved some kids trying to get some cereal. Then they run into a problem (someone steals their cereal / someone traps them in a cage and keeps them from getting their cereal / they get hit by a bus). Luckily, they have some help getting them to their beloved cereal. In this case, they are helped by The S'morecerer. He takes them out of the horrible situation they are in (trapped in a room with a Nickleback album playing over and over and over again) and drops them right smack dab in front of a big bowl of S'mores, and after finishing their cereal, one of the kids cleverly says "Can I have S'more?"
HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaaaaaa...........you stupid kid, no you can't have any more, it's been discontinued.

In the late 80's Smores Crunch tried to rebrand itself as S'mores Grahams, and it lasted a few more years into the early 90's, but it was finally discontinued for good after the great marshmallow famine of 1992. Or it just wasn't selling as well as it had been. It was one of those two things I think.

Photo by Jason Liebig

In 2003, Kelloggs ripped off the idea and came out with a cereal called Smorz which was a @%*#*!$ travesty to all things holy. It wasn't the same at all. It was a cheap knockoff of a cheap knockoff of a once great cereal. So I just pretend it never happened. Kind of like The Hangover 2.

Finally, an observation: Is anyone else kind of creeped out by the cartoon marshmallow on the box? I mean, on the S'mores Crunch box, it looks like him, Chocolate and Graham Cracker are all buds, just hanging out, smiling......waiting for you to take them home and love them. But then, on the S'mores Grahams box, Marshmallow has decided to eat his friends, like some sort of Marshzombie.
Just an observation I had. Probably means nothing.

Or does it? (note to self - load guns for impending zombie marshmallow apocalypse.)