Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Expired Coupon Daze! - Planters Potato Chips (in a can)

Planters Potato Chips (in a can)

I fondly remember all the Planters canned snacks, like Cheese Balls, and Cheese Curls, but I missed out on the Planters Potato chips in a can. Which is a shame, because I've got this coupon...........

that expired.....

in 1975.......


Oh well, I've already got my favorite CHiPs, anyway....

Monday, April 27, 2015

From the Beverage Aisle: Aspen Soda

Product: Aspen Soda
Company: PepsiCo
Years: 1978-1982

Alert Reader Alert! (Wait, huh?) Loyal reader and all around standup guy, Mike Henry, recently sent me an email about a product we currently don't have in stock. That product was one that I hadn't heard of, which in a way, made me feel kind of sad. I like to think I know everything, based solely on my own observations of myself and what my mom tells me, and with two simple words, Mike brought me crashing down to earth.

Those 2 words were: Aspen Soda.

Wait, Whats this now? What in tarnation is Aspen soda? Are you making it up???


Mild depression set in for a few days upon realization that I don't know everything. I spent an entire week on the internets, learning about all the things that I didn't know, including but not limited too: Wombats (real), trigonometry (was pretty sure the teacher was making it up as he went along), and now, Aspen Soda.

Aspen soda was an "Crisp and clear" apple flavored soda created by PepsiCo in the late 70's. It was meant to compete with all the lemon lime sodas on the market, which there were many of. For some reason, though, there wasn't an apple flavored soda, and PepsiCo stuck a bunch of money trying to fill this void.

Turns out the reason was that apple soda really wasn't that good. I mean, it wasn't BAD, or anything.....it just isn't something people really want a whole lot of. In the early 80's, Pepsi decided to rebrand this soda as Slice (another failed soda, for the same reason).

Then, Apple soda went away all together, like the wombats did.

(Correction, wombats are still around.)

Here's the Aspen commercial.

I can't believe this is a real thing. I die a little inside every time I watch this.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Expired Coupon Daze - Ralston Crispits

Ralston Crispits

Potato!!! Sour Cream!!! Taco!!! Corn? Yes....Corn!!!
Coupon Expired - Long Ago (1974)
Hey! I won! A coupon! Worth 20 cents! My life is horrible.
(But ma, it's got 20% Protein! I'm being healthy!)

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

From the Endangered Groceries List - Jack Daniel's Kiddie Cocktails

Product: Jack Daniels Non-Alcoholic Kiddie Cocktail
Company: Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey
Years: 2015

You may do a double take a little later this year while strolling the juice box aisle of your grocery store, as a new, moderately questionable product is going to be making an appearance.

Jack Daniels is set to release a new juice box, aimed at kids who "just want to be cool like mom and dad".  Yes, that's right....Jack Daniel's Kiddie cocktails will soon be hitting the shelves.

I can't blame them, I mean, I have kids....and I know anytime we go to a restaurant that has a bar in it, I end up buying several "Kiddie Cocktails" from the Bar, which are nothing more then soda, some juice, and syrups. Kids love them, so someone realized there is money to be made here.

They will come in 4 flavors: "Cool Like Dad" Dragonfruit, "Cool Like Mom" Mango, "Cool like Uncle Gary" Grape, and "Cool Like Aunt Lisa" Lemon.

I have to say, I am a bit surprised that this managed to pass the approval process, with the whole "Marketing to kids" thing that got Joe Camel in trouble in the 90's.

But I ask that everyone refrain from getting outraged. Please don't write your senators. Please don't start an online petition to get these pulled from shelves. Because I promise you, as the Owner of Gone But Not Forgotten Groceries, that these will not be on shelves long.

In fact, I'm guessing they probably won't make it more then a day. Probably only today, in fact.

April 1st. Just that one day.

Yep. I did that. Enjoy the rest of your April Fools Day, you crazy knuckleheads!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

From the Misc. Food Aisle - Mr. Wiggle

Product: Mr. Wiggle
Company: Kraft Foods
Years: Early 1965 - ?

It seems strange that there was once a time when they had to find a way to market Jell-O to kids, but once upon a time (10 years before me), this was actually the case. Kids everywhere were folding their arms, making that frumpy face that kids make when they don't want something. You know the look:

So Jell-O came out with a new line of Jello that they were sure kid would love. They combined Jello with the one thing kids love: Toys! Jello filled with marbles, plastic army men and jumping jacks turned out to be a HORRIBLE idea, so they went with plan B: Candy! (Note - the part about the toys? Yeah, I made that up. Just in case you actually believed me. In which case, you should know better.)

Mr. Wiggle was a candy flavored jello. You heard me correctly. Take the sweet, sugary taste of Jell-O, and add candy! Brilliant! Kids loved it! Parents loved that their kids loved it! Dentists just stood there, shaking their heads, saying stuff like  "Really?", and "There goes the country!"

It came in 6 flavors: Gumdrop Grape, Candycorn Orange, Jellybean Strawberry, Lollypop Lime, Rockcandy Raspberry, and Candyball Cherry. It was glorious, and, it had some pretty awesome commercials voiced by the amazing Paul Frees and Daws Butler, arguably 2 of the most famous voices of our childhoods.

On a side note, there was a big lawsuit filed in the 70's over this product. It turns out that a design agency (Young & Rubicam) pitched the idea to the Jell-O people for a jello aimed at kids, that could have a fun name, like Mr. Wiggly or Mr. Wigglee. The Jell-O people (they weren't actually MADE out of Jello, which would have been pretty cool) wasn't ready to commit to this, since they tough their original product was good enough. Then they got wind that their competitor Pillsbury was going to be coming out with their own line of kids gelatin called "Jiggly". Kraft wasn't about to let that happen, and decided to go ahead with the kids version, but instead of Mr. Wiggley, call it Mr. Wiggle, which was a COMPLETELY different thing altogether. They cut out the advertising agency and said it was really an idea they had Long before Y&T had even mentioned it to them. Lawsuits ensued. Lawyers were called. Feeling were hurt. I'm not even sure what the outcome of the lawsuit was.....beleive me, I tried to read all these court documents on the case to figure it out, but they might as well write out those court papers in Latin, because after reading several pages I forgot if I was reading a court case or trying to order Chinese food. (I got the General Tso's).

Mr. Wiggle was loved by many. It was before my time, but I would welcome it's return. Heck, it wouldn't be too far out to think they could join forces with some popular candy companies today and revive the line. Skittles/Starburst/Nerds candy would all work well. Someone.....make this happen.