Thursday, July 26, 2012

From the Snack Aisle: Fruit Wrinkles

Product: Fruit Wrinkles
Company: Fruit Corners
Years: 1986 - ?

Raisins.


That's right.......raisins.

The original Fruit Wrinkles. I guess Nature forgot to get a patent.


In 1986, Fruit Corners wanted to expanded it's Fruit Roll-up line of kid's snacks and try out some new stuff. In my head, I picture a team of people in lab coats testing such items as "Fruit by the Mile" (the grandfather of todays "Fruit by the Foot"), or "Fruit Injections!", which would be small syringes filled with liquid fruit, which you shoot into your veins. Then, while eating lunch one day, Barry (the most useless of all the lab technicians) reached into his lunchbox for some fruit and pulled out, you guessed it, a banana. He peeled it and slowly started to eat it, and just then, for whatever reason, he started thinking about that old California Raisins cartoon that used to be on. You know, the one that was done in claymation? That's the one. Maybe he had heard Marvin Gaye earlier in the day, and that's what made him think about it. He wasn't sure. But thinking about that cartoon made him wonder how they could base an entire kids show on a piece of wrinkled fruit. "Wrinkled Fruit?" Barry thought to himself. "I've got it!" he shouted, and ran back to the lab. And you know what? For once, everyone listened to Barry. Todd stopped compiling data and listened. Mary put down the test tubes and took in every word Barry had to say. He had done it....he had finally earned his spot on the team. They respected him as an equal.
As a big "Thank You" for coming up with such a brilliant idea (which he stole from nature), Fruit Corners gave Barry the parking spot closest to the door for a week, and a 1.5% increase in pay, which after taxes didn't really amount to much. Which is probably why his girlfriend broke up with him and he turned into a raging alcoholic.
That's what I imagine in my head, anyway. I tend to be wrong from time to time.

Fruit Wrinkles were small, wrinkled pieces of fruit (Cherry, Lemon, Orange, and Strawberry) that came in small packets. You'd tear off the end and pour the wrinkled contents into your hand, then enjoy the juicy, wrinkled goodness.

Like many of my childhood favorites, I remember these fondly and could swear they had been around longer then they actually were. But we had some good times together.

I could eat a box of raisins, or handful of fruit snacks, but it's just not the same.

I wish nature could help us out on this one and bring them back, but I know it can't.

We need to find Barry. He holds the key.
If he hasn't offed himself already. (he was pretty depressed after that break-up, guys).

Have a great day everyone!!!!

2 comments:

  1. This is kind of the prototype for those Sunkist jelly fruit candies and all the other jelly fruit crud you can buy in a 7-11.

    I remember the fruit-preserves-on-plastic as a kid, and all I could think is, why not make the plastic edible to cut down on the garbage?

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  2. I remember those too. Super-delicious, and you'd eat a whole bunch and they'd stick to your teeth.

    Good times.

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