Wednesday, April 1, 2015

From the Endangered Groceries List - Jack Daniel's Kiddie Cocktails

Product: Jack Daniels Non-Alcoholic Kiddie Cocktail
Company: Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey
Years: 2015

You may do a double take a little later this year while strolling the juice box aisle of your grocery store, as a new, moderately questionable product is going to be making an appearance.

Jack Daniels is set to release a new juice box, aimed at kids who "just want to be cool like mom and dad".  Yes, that's right....Jack Daniel's Kiddie cocktails will soon be hitting the shelves.

I can't blame them, I mean, I have kids....and I know anytime we go to a restaurant that has a bar in it, I end up buying several "Kiddie Cocktails" from the Bar, which are nothing more then soda, some juice, and syrups. Kids love them, so someone realized there is money to be made here.

They will come in 4 flavors: "Cool Like Dad" Dragonfruit, "Cool Like Mom" Mango, "Cool like Uncle Gary" Grape, and "Cool Like Aunt Lisa" Lemon.

I have to say, I am a bit surprised that this managed to pass the approval process, with the whole "Marketing to kids" thing that got Joe Camel in trouble in the 90's.

But I ask that everyone refrain from getting outraged. Please don't write your senators. Please don't start an online petition to get these pulled from shelves. Because I promise you, as the Owner of Gone But Not Forgotten Groceries, that these will not be on shelves long.

In fact, I'm guessing they probably won't make it more then a day. Probably only today, in fact.

April 1st. Just that one day.

Yep. I did that. Enjoy the rest of your April Fools Day, you crazy knuckleheads!


  1. That was awesome. I came to it a few days late, and did a ferocious double-take before checking the date on the post. Brilliantly photoshopped, hilariously written. Well done!

  2. Freaking hilarious!

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  4. Get all the best spirits and wines at Duty Free Depot!

    All the highest quality brand name drinks for unbeatable discounted price tags.

  5. dang it. My kids came home from school a while back talking about Dragonfruit JuiceBoxes that they got with their school lunch. Now I can't find the REAL ones that do exist!!!

  6. Perfect for good post and point. I'm not sure that this is actually the best place to ask, but do you have any ideology to hire some professional writers? Thanks in advance.
    Vente en gros des produits de thé à Montréal