Friday, December 16, 2011

From the Canned Goods Aisle: Pac-Man Pasta

Pac-Man Pasta
Company - Chef Boyardee
Years: Early-Mid 80's

Pac-man Pasta
Photo courtesy of Grickly

Who didn't love Chef Boyardee's Pac Man Pasta? I mean besides Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde. And Ms. Pac Man (he was kind of a chauvinist after all...).

There were several flavors of this in the early 80's, from regular pasta with spaghetti sauce, pasta and Meat Balls, and even pasta in a "golden chicken sauce". Yup. Ugh.

In the early 80's, when Video game craze ran rampant, it needed to have a video game tie in to be a hit. (see also Pac-Man Cereal/Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. Cereal, etc.) Pac Man pasta was what made the 80's so great. Product placement within other products. Now if they'd just flipped it and made a Chef Boyardee Video Game, my head would have imploded.

So did you love this stuff as much as I did? I remember the Pasta with Meatballs, mostly. Mmm.....power pellets......

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

From the Beverage Aisle: Milk Mate

Milk Mate Chocolate Syrup
Company: ?
Years - Late 70's/Early 80's
Milk Mate Newspaper Ad - 1979

Alright,  this one is new to me. I ran across an ad in some old Newspapers recently, and have come to the conclusion that it isn't around anymore. I have very little info on it. Other then it's more chocolaty then powdered chocolate mixes. And they'll give you a wagon to haul around your Milk Mate drink mix/friends in.

Is there anyone out there who remembers this stuff? Anyone? Helloooooo.............Echo.......echo.............echo..........

Milk Mate Newspaper Ad - 1980

Please leave comments below

Friday, December 2, 2011

From the Snack Aisle: 4 Minute Fudge

4 Minute Fudge
Company: Salada/Kellogg's
Years: 1974-Early 80's

What do we want? FUDGE! When do we want it? NOW!!!!

Seriously, was there actually a time when people were saying "Man, I could go for some fudge right now, but I don't even have 5 minutes to wait for it....I wish someone would come out with a product that could satisfy my fudge urges."

Now, I'm not sure if Salada is the original company and was later bought out by Kelloggs or what (as you can see below by the coupon), but as far as I can tell, it's a miracle this product lasted in stores for more then 4 minutes.

Here are some product reviews from the Lakeland Ledger, November 12, 1975 :

"I sure didn't have fudge in 4 minutes, I had a soupy mess" - Karel Hammer

"The texture is not smooth .... it takes 15 to 20 minutes to make this fudge, despite what the label says. My Grandchildren did not like the candy, they said it was too grainy." -Doratea Addison

So if this stuff was so bad, why was it still being sold until at least 1980? Did they reformulate the recipe? Or are people just suckers for fast fudge, even if its not fabulous fast fudge.

This product is gone, and this one might be forgotten too. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: Powdered Donutz Cereal

Powdered Donutz
Company: General Mills
Years: 1980-83/84
Powdered Donutz Cereal

Powdered Donutz Cereal (using the Z instead of the S before it was cool to do that) was basically a fat powdered Cheerio. They didn't think that was a very good slogan, so they went with their second choice, "A Crispy, Sweetened 3 Grain Cereal".
Doesn't quite catch the eye like "Just A Fat Powdered Cheerios", does it?
I don't honestly remember this cereal either, but what was with all the Donut Cereals in the 80's/90's? Powdered Donutz, Dinky Donuts, Dunkin Donuts Cereal.....
Anyway, much like Urkel-Os, General Mills tried to dress up Cheerios and give it a new name, but to no avail. It was around to see the early 80's and then it was gone.

What did you think of Powdered Donutz Cereal?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: OJ's

OJ's Cereal
Company: Kellogg's
Year: 1985-87

image by dustincropsboy

You don't see a lot of orange flavored cereals, and there is a very good reason. People enjoy drinking a glass of OJ with their morning cereal, not pouring it directly over the cereal. Orange flavored milk? Ugh.

OJ's was a fun new cereal when it came out in 1985. It claimed that "every bowl had the Vitamin C of a 4 oz glass of Orange Juice. Plus a delicious Orange taste your kids will love!"

Well, they didn't. It lasted for just under 2 years and was gone.

The cereal did have one thing going for it, a cool mascot called OJ Joe, a cattleman who rode around on an orange and corralled and roped other oranges that he then took to the Orange Processing Factory where they were brutally squeezed to death to make the very cereal that he was on the front of. The humanity.

If you remember OJ's and were a fan, you can sign an online petition that's out there trying to get Kelloggs to bring it back:

And if you have any memories, be sure to comment below.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

From the Snack Aisle: doo-dads

Company: Nabisco
Years: Late 60's-90's

 Nabisco - Doo Dads Introduction magazine ad - close-up - 1966
Image from Jason Liebig

Another great Nabisco Snack Mix that people seem to fondly remember is doo dads. It was a snack made up of 5 different parts: Toasted peanuts, pretzels, rice squares, wheat squares and cheese Tid-Bit Crackers (which were so popular you could buy Tid-Bits by themselves).
I know it sounds like Chex Mix, but as it turns out, it was nothing even close, so much that if you even compare them to an avid doo-dad lover you will get beaten. They are nothing alike. doo dads are 100X better (or so I've been told).
Once a snack staple starting in the late 60s, they really became a childhood favorite of everyone in the 70's/80's. In the 90's, as sales stared to slip due to the influx of chips/crackers/snacks that were in the market, doo dads tried out some new flavors hoping to bring them back to life, but the as the 90's came to a close so did doo dads. (though I have heard people say they lasted into the early 2000's....if anyone can confirm that let me know).

90's "Flavor" box (Cheddar and Herb) - photo by ManKatt
late 1980s Doo-Dads Snack mix

I remember eating them as a kid in the 80's, but I don't have the same connection that a lot of people seem to have - eating them while playing board games with the family...snacking on them during long car rides....sharing a box with dad while watching football on Sundays.....doo dads were a popular snack that many people trace back to their youth.

Sadly, they are now gone. Will they ever return from extinction? People have been trying to get Nabisco to relaunch them for years now, but we will have to wait and see if doo-dad nation gets their prayers answered.

Oh, and if you turn the box upside down, it looks like "spap oop". I've seen lots of people make this observation, so flipping the box must have been a regular occurrence for kids in the 70's and 80's.

Nabisco - Doo Dads snack mix box - 1976
image by Jason Liebig

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

From the Snack Aisle: Korkers Corn Twists

Company: Nabisco
Years: 1968-Mid 70's

As I add Nabisco's Korkers to my list of extinct groceries, I realize that I am eating Frito's Honey BBQ Flavor Twists. Completely by accident. And my mind is blow. I was going to explain how Nabisco filed for the Korkers Trademark back in 1968, and that Trademark expired back in 1992 (and is still available). I was going to comment on how they marketed Korkers as a great snack for digging through dips, and how I'm surprised nobody has revived the spiral shape in a snack chip since. And then as I wiped the Honey BBQ residue from my finger tips to type, I realized I had been stuffing my face with twin sister of the Korkers the entire time. So I don't really have a whole lot to say anymore.

Korkers were an early 70's snack that were spiral shaped corn chips. Think a curled up Frito. But the name.....Korkers? Does that name seem like an  odd name to anyone else? Almost sounds dirty.

Do you remember Korkers? Feel free to share your thought of the Spiral Snack That Ain't Comin' Back.

Hey, that's good....I should trademark that.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: Urkel-Os

Company: Ralston
Years: 1991-?

In the early 90's, Urkel-mania swept the nation. I don't think I need to go into who Urkel was, because if you don't know you must have either been in a coma or not born yet (which in either case you can google it and find tons of info).

Lets just say he was a TV nerd, but not just any TV Nerd, a lovable TV nerd. But not just a lovable tv nerd, a lovable tv nerd WITH HIS OWN BREAKFAST CEREAL! (Take that Skippy from Family Ties).

Urkel-Os were strawberry and banana flavored rings that came in a box plastered with pictures of Urkel. There were 9 different boxes, just incase you wanted to collect them all to complete your shrine to Jaleel White (once again, coma patients and young people, just Google Jaleel White). On the back of the box there was a "Help Urkel Find Laura" game. Who's Laura you ask? Seriously? Haven't we established already that I'm not going to dive into the Family Matters universe, or even get my toes wet for that matter? Google.

The cereal was nothing new and exciting, just Ralston looking to cash in on the flavor of the day (Ralson was good at this, which we'll see in future posts). It lasted for a few years until the show started to loose its appeal when it was discontinued from store shelves. Boxes are still pretty easy to come by on Ebay (people must be taking down their shrines finally...)

Monday, October 31, 2011

From the Candy Aisle: Sticklets Gum

Sticklets Gum
Company: Wrigleys
Years: 1986-?

This was a gimmick that Wrigley's unleashed on the world in the mid 80's: Take the gum they are already making, cut the sticks into narrower pieces, put 9 sticks in a pack (instead of the normal 7) and give them a catchy name and a ho-hum-package. It was somehow supposed to tie in with the economy of the time, and that we need to "slim down" on stuff.
Came in several different flavors.
Did it work? Do you remember buying and enjoying (or not) Sticklet's gum?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

From the Beverage Aisle: Kool-Aid Rock-A-Dile Red

Kool-Aid Rock-A-Dile Red
Company: Kraft Foods
Years- Early 90's

Kool-Aid Rock-A-Dile Red (Early 90's)

In the late 80's/early 90's, Kool-Aid had a bit of an identity crisis. The Kool-Aid man was asked to share the limelight with a series of new characters for some new flavors that were being introduced, and like the gentleman he is, said "Oh-Yeah!" (which is usually what he says about most things, so he could have been answering any number of questions at the time, like "Did you catch Jersey Shore last night?", or, "Did you remember to flush when you were done?") Anyway, Kool-Aid rolled out a series of new flavors (which in due time will all be discussed) and the final one of that series to hit the shelves in the early 90's was called Rock-A-Dile Red. It was a Fruit Punch flavored drink, which didn't really make it stand out from any of the other flavors they already had (a Fruit Flavored drink? How novel.......) But the success of Rock-A-Dile Red and the rest of the "Character Flavors" (Purlesaurus Rex, Sharleberry Fin, Great Bluedini, and Incrediberry) wasn't so much the new flavor as it was the advertising avalanche that went along with them. Kids saw them on TV and had to try them, so they became a smash hit.

Rock-A-Dile red was released in the early 90's, and only lasted a few years (the novelty of the "Character" flavors had started to fade). Even though it was not being produced anymore, it could still be found on store shelves for a few years until the surplus could be used up.

The character on the packages was an awesome dinosaur who was WAY cooler then you (ok....way cooler then me, too.....). He wore a shirtless collar and tie. That wasn't a type-o. I never meant to type collarless shirt. Look for yourself. See? How cool is that?
Plus, he wore sunglasses and played a saxophone. It looks like someone crammed a bunch of fruit into his saxaphone when he wasn't looking, and he's so good, he just blows that shit out there with ease. You know who else played a saxophone and was way cooler then you (fine, and me too........)?

Kenny G.

Yeah, I know what you're saying....."he was kind of fruity too"....ok, that was an easy one. Lets just get back to the point.

Problem is I've completely forgotten at this point what point I was trying to make. So let's just review:

Rock-A-Dile Red (the Flavor):  Not really anything special - Red drink, fruity

Rock-A-Dile Red (the cartoon): Cooler then you and me (but not Kenny G)

"Hey, that rhymed!":  yes, I know

Can still be purchased at: Nowhere. Discontinued. Not for Sale. if you can find one on Ebay (or in the back of a cupboard that hasn't been cleaned out in 20 years like I did) congratulations.

Is it on the shelves at Gone But Not Forgotten Groceries?: It is now.

Feel free to share your stories of Rock-A-Dile Red in the comment section below.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

From the Misc. Foods Aisle - Fruit Helper

Fruit Helper
Company: Betty Crocker
Years: 1973 - ???

In 1973, Betty Crocker expanded their line of "Helper" products to include this fabulous flop, Fruit Helper. It was a kit that allowed people to make a fruit desert with either canned or fresh fruit, but it was really a half-baked idea, as whipping up a fruit desert didn't take all that long to begin with, so it wasn't needed.

People didn't think it was handy, so the Hamburger Helper Hand gave it the finger, and poof, it was gone.

Monday, October 17, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: Yummy Mummy

Yummy Mummy Cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1988-1992
1989 Yummy Mummy w Bat 
photo from bolio88

The 4th Monster Cereal of to be released (though some don't consider it part of the monster cereals) was Yummy Mummy (later, "Fruity" was added to it to make it Fruity Yummy Mummy. Maybe people were saying "but rotting corpses really aren't all that yummy", to which someone replied "but what if it was a corpse that's bursting with fruity flavors?")

Yummy Mummy was a fruit flavored frosted cereal with vanilla marshmallows. The cereal pieces, as well as the marshmallows, were shaped sort of like heads, though the orange and red cereal pieces looked more like outlets or pig noses then heads.
Sadly, Yummy Mummy was the shortest lived of the Monster cereals, only lasting 4 years. I don't know if I ever had Yummy Mummy Cereal, as it was here and gone in a flash. If you remember it, share your stories and let me know what you thought of it.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

From the Beverage Aisle: Ecto Cooler

Ecto Cooler
Company: Hi-C
Years: 1987-2001
 1995 Hi-C Ecto Cooler label
Image by Greg Koenig

When you think Halloween, one thing that often comes to mind is ghosts. And when you think of ghosts, you start to think of that great movie, Ghostbusters. A true classic. Then, after thinking about Ghostbusters (the Movie) for a while, you think of The Real Ghostbusters, the cartoon. Then you stop thinking about it for a while.
Two days later, it pops in your head again for some reason (you see a hearse, maybe?), and you make the jump from thinking about The Real Ghostbusters to that adorable cartoon ghost, Slimer. Man, I miss Slimer. Almost as much as I miss OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER ECTO COOLER!!??!?!?

Ecto Cooler was a drink made by Hi-C in 1987 as a tie in with the Cartoon series "The Real Ghostbusters", and actually outlived the Cartoon series (which ended in 1991). The drink box featured the ghost "Slimer" from the show, and the name "Ecto Cooler" comes from the Ectoplasm which is the slime left behind from a ghost. The drink itself was bright green (like the ectoplasm was in the movie/Cartoon). So basically you were drinking a slime/snot looking beverage. Yummy.

Around 1997, Slimer was removed from the box all together, and it was renamed "Shoutin' Orange Tangerine". Then, in 2006 it was renamed again, this time called "Crazy Citrus Cooler", and it 2007, the recipe was officially discontinued. But it had been so popular in the early 90's that it is fondly remembered today by kids who grew up with it, so much even that some people reverese engineered it and came up with recipes for you to create your own "Ecto Cooler".

But the Ecto Cooler as we know it is officially discontinued, so it's officially going on the shelves here at GBNF Groceries.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

From the Candy Aisle: Mr. Bones

Mr. Bones
Company: Fleer
Years: 1970's


One of the greatest novelty candy ever invented has to be Mr. Bones. I mean, not only did you get candy, but you got a puzzle, and after the candy was gone, you had an awesome plastic casket to use with your GI Joes (look, those little rubber bands that held them together were ALWAYS breaking, and every now and again, a Joe had to be laid to rest. I miss you, Roadblock.....).
So in a nutshell (or in a coffin?), Mr. Bones was this: a series of candy pieces shaped like bones that could be put together to form a skeleton (Mr. Bones, if you will).  They came in small coffing like this:


The only downside to these memorable candy treats was that many times you were missing pieces and couldn't properly assemble Mr. Bones, which was a shame, as he was quite a memorable fellow. A Memorable, delicious, candy fellow. So I'm happy to add him to the list of GBNF Groceries this Halloween season.

Mr. Bones Candy 

Photos By Jrod49 and Neato Coolville

Monday, October 10, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: Fruit Brute

Fruite Bruit
Company: General Mills
Years: 1974-1983

You didn't expect me to completely ignore the fact that it's October, did you? I mean, Halloween is only a few weeks away, so I thought I'd try to "Dig up" (pardon the graveyard humor) a few fogotten "Spooky" know, monsters, ghosts, aliens and the sort. And I don't think I'd be doing my job here at GBNF Groceries if I didn't clear a spot on the shelves for a long time (but long gone) favorite: Fruit Brute.

Fruit Brute was one of the original 4 Monster Cereals General Mills Rolled out in the 70's (Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and Fruit Bruit). Fruit Brute, unfortunately, was the first to get scared off the shelves. (Yummy Mummy actually was created later on to replace Fruit Brute - Don't worry Yummy Mummy, we'll be talking about you soon enough...).

Fruit Brute was a fruit flavored cereal with lime flavored marshmallows and it's mascot was a cartoon Werewolf (who was usually wearing multi-colored overalls that he must have gotten by traveling though time to 1992 and stealing from a hip-hop artist). The cereal lasted 8 years before being shelved (or pulled from the shelves, as it would turn out), though after being gone for 28 years, still has quite a cult following. It can be seen in several Quentin Tarantino movies and is still one of the most desired vintage Cereal boxes on the collectors market. If you had an original box (just the box) you could fetch about $500 and up on ebay.
People love their Monster Cereals, especially around Halloween, so it's a fitting time of the year to add them to the archives and get them in the mix with the rest of the GBNF groceries.
Image by Waffle Whiffer

Monday, October 3, 2011

From the Canned Goods Aisle: Koogle

Koogle Peanut Butter
Company: Kraft
Years: 70's

Look, I blame my parents for lots of stuff. My dislike of Apple Pie, my anxiety in crowded places, and my fear of puppets, to name a few. But I really can't blame them for not having me sooner so I could enjoy the flavored peanut butter treat that was Koogle. I mean, sure, they could have stockpiled a bunch of jars for me prior to my birth, but really, who has that kind of hindsight? Give them a break, they aren't perfect (remember, there is that whole fear of puppets thing).

Koogle was a flavored Peanut Butter treat from the 70s that came in several flavors: Chocolate, Vanilla, Cinnamon, and Banana. It had a memorable commercial featuring the jive talking Koogle Mascot who sang  "Pea-nutty-koogle with the koo-koo-koogly eyes!" It was around for a few years, but sadly didn't last.

Man, I wish my parents had me sooner. I missed out on some serious craziness with Koogle.

Please, if you've had Koogle, let me know. Sounds like one extinct food I could have gotten into.

From the Frozen Foods Dept.: I Hate Corn and I Hate Beets

"I Hate Beets" and "I Hate Corn"
Company: American Kitchen
Date: 70's

The other day I posted about the wonderfully brilliant concept of American Kitchen to combine vegetables kids hate with french Fries, thinking kids wouldn't notice that they were being duped and grow up to be big and strong like their Uncle Carl, or better yet, The Incredible Hulk. I mentioned that there were other flavors besides "I Hate Peas", and came across 2 more flavors and just had to post them to the archives.

So Behold: I Hate Beets & I Hate Corn

I wonder if all the packages have a cartoon image of a little girl on it. I'm seeing a pattern here.....I mean, come on, boys hate vegetables just as much as girls do. One of the packages must have a boy on it. Right? Anyone have any other variations they can send me?

Friday, September 30, 2011

From the Frozen foods Dept.: Jello Gelatin Pops

Gelatin Pops
Company: Jell-O
Years: 70's-80's

In the 80's, Jello Gelatin Pops were the "Healthy" Alternative to their sister product Jello Pudding Pops.....Because they were made with Fruit, which OBVIOUSLY made them healthier. Right?
This seemed to be my parents reasoning too, because even though I remember eating a lot of Pudding Pops back in my day, I also remember that there was always a box of Gelatin Pops sitting right next to them in the freezer. And after the Pudding Pops were devoured by the pack of hungry kids that was me and my friends, we would always have to "Finish up the box of Gelatin Pops" before she would buy any more Pudding Pops. I seriously think that she thought she was balancing out the Sugar intake of the Pudding Pops with the Fruity Goodness of the Gelatin Pops, which upon further review, she wasn't.

They came in 3 flavors, and If I remember correctly, they were Strawberry, Orange, and the other red one (Cherry? Salsa? Blood?).

Even though Gelatin Pops were the Go-Bots to the Pudding Pops Transformers, Gelatin Pops still bring back some good memories. Like getting down to the freezer first and finding there was only one Pudding Pop left, eating it quietly, then snickering when my sisters threw a fit upon learning that the only frozen treat left was the Gelatin Pops.
Ahh....good times.

If you absolutely have to have these, even though they are Gone (but not forgotten), there is a recipe on the Kraft website where you can make your own. Enjoy! - Gelatin Pops

Thursday, September 29, 2011

From the Cereal Aisle: Morning Funnies

Morning Funnies
Company: Ralston
Years: 1988-89

If there is one thing kids love to do while eating their cereal, it's got to be watching cartoons on TV.
But Ralston thought they'd roll the dice and hope that kids would also like to read comic strips while they ate breakfast. And kids do like to stare at the back of a cereal box, this much is true. So what went wrong?

The Cereal: Morning Funnies cereal was colorful, fruity, and shaped like smiling faces. I guess those smiling faces hadn't been reading the Family Circus portion of the box, as it's a known fact that reading Family Circus actually makes your head explode. (and by known fact I mean a complete and total assumption).

The Box: The box was a vary unique part of the Morning Funnies experience, as the back part of the box had a flap on it that actually opened up to reveal even more comic strips, much like you were opening a newspaper. The comics included on the boxes (there were 9 "Collectors Edition" boxes produced in total, which by calling them "Collectors Edition" boxes is basically calling them "Limited Edition" boxes, which is basically saying, this shit isn't going to last long) were the following: Dennis the Menace, Beetle Baily, Hagar the Horrible, Hi and Lois, The Family Circus, Tiger, Luann, Marvin, Funky Winkerbean, and What a Guy.

The Verdict: Not good. Consumer panels noted that the cereal was overly sweet, and the pieces were too large to eat. It also made the list of top 10 cereals to avoid based on high sugar content. Plus, kids didn't care about Beetle Baily, Hi and Lois, or most of the other Comics on the box.  I know I didn't. Heck, I still don't. Give me Calvin and Hobbes. Give me Farside. But don't give me Family Circus. Dont EVER give me the family circus. Ever.
The Box was cool but that was about it. It lasted on the shelves for 2 years before being discontinued.

Now it's on our shelves here at GBNF Groceries as a reminder that things associated with The Family Circus will be defeated. Let this be a warning.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

From the Candy Aisle: PB Max

PB Max
Company: Mars
Year: 1989/90

I have to admit, I completely forgot about PB Max. Maybe because it wasn't around for very long. But once the words "PB Max" were uploaded to my brain again it all came back. The delicious taste of creamy peanut butter and oats on a square whole grain cookie, then the whole thing dipped in chocolate.....the annoying commercials reminding me that PB didn't stand for "Piggy Banks, or "Polka Band", or "Pink Baboon", or even "Portly Ballerina". It all came back. Oh how I miss you, Max. Is it ok if I call you Max? No? My apologies.

So why did the PB Max Go away? Rumor has it (According to former Mars executive Alfred Poe), that PB Max was discontinued due to the Mars family's distaste for peanut butter, even though in it's short run the candy bar racked up $50 million in sales.
Now there is one serious dislike for peanut butter. Maybe Peanut allergies ran in the family and they were just watching out for their own.
Or maybe they just wanted me to be standing in the candy aisle one day in the mid 90's, utterly confused, looking like a fool, trying to figure out what the hell happened to my beloved PM Max.
Or maybe it was neither of those things.
Yeah, probably not.

Monday, September 26, 2011

From the Frozen Foods Dept.: I Hate Peas

"I Hate Peas"
Company: American Kitchen
Date: 70's

Photo Courtesy of Jason Liebig
American Kitchen - I Hate Peas - package box - 1970's

Rule #1 of trying to make foods "kid friendly": You can't combine something that kids don't like with something kids do like and think they won't notice. Kids are way to smart for that and won't put up with it. Riots have been started because of it. Nations have fallen. Products have failed. And this is a prime example.
American Kitchen came up with the idea to take something Kids love (French Fries) and combine them with something kids hate (in this case, peas). They mixed them both up and formed French Fry shaped sticks that I'm assuming tasted as bad as they looked.
Coming along with I Hate Peas for the great Fail Tour of the 70's was "I Hate Corn", "I Hate Broccoli", "I Hate Spinach", and "I Hate Carrots", which fittingly, were all hated by kids. These products only lasted a short time before they disappeared from stores, as kids decided they'd rather eat real peas and not be insulted by this trainwreck of a side dish.

Anyone remember eating these as a kid? Share your stories with us, because we want to know what the hell American Kitchen was thinking too.

From the Canned Goods Aisle: Roller Coasters

Roller Coasters Pasta
Company: Chef Boyardee
Year: 80's

1986 Chef Boyardee Roller Coasters Pasta Tin Can Bank
Photo Courtesy of Gregg Koenig

Remember the delicious wavy shaped pasta and the scrumptious tomato sauce? Remember the thrill of knowing that there were 20, count them, 20 hearty meatballs in every can? Do you remember?

Well, I don't. I partly blame my parents, as I remember eating a lot of Franco American Spaghetti (Campbells) growing up, but I guess all the great Chef Boyardee treats were just never on my radar. Does that mean that they won't go on the shelves here at GBNF Groceries? Of course not. Even though I don't remember them, I'm sure there are oodles and oodles of kids out there who grew up with these noodles. So they will take their rightful spot on the shelf. I'll be sure to leave room, because I'm sure there are lots of great pasta treats that are no longer with us....

Sunday, September 25, 2011

From the Candy Aisle: Bonkers!

Bonkers Candy
Company: Nabisco
Year: Mid 80's

Life Savers, Inc - Bonkers! strawberry  fruit candy package wrapper - 1984
Photo Courtesy of Jason Liebig

"Bonkers - the candy that will cause giant mutant fruits to fall from the sky and crush you." Or at least that is what 10 year old me was hoping would happen. I gave them to my teachers, my parents, my older sisters, and nothing. No giant Fruit. No screams of pain as produce crushed their bones and internal organs. Only a pleasant smile as they enjoyed their candy, and a quick nod or sometimes, a "thank you". So Bonkers always left a bitter taste in my mouth. Not the actual taste, as they were quite fruity (they came in flavors like Grape, Orange, Strawberry, Watermelon, and I think there was even Chocolate), but the bad taste left by the fact that it was blatant false advertising. Lies. Boldfaced lies.

Anyway, Bonkers was a squareish candy that came in a wrapped row, much like Starburst, only they had a fruity outside and filling that was even fruitier. Apparently, there is a knockoff "Bonkers" candy available today that has no relation to the great 80's candy, so I can safely say this one is extinct.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

From the Beverage Aisle: Pepsi Wild Bunch

Pepsi Wild Bunch Sodas
Company: Pepsi Cola
Year: 1991

Pepsi Wild bunch cans - Early 90's
Cherry Pepsi. OK. Pepsi Lime. Sure. Strawberry Pepsi. Wait what? Raging Razzberry Pepsi. Hold on for a minute now........Tropical Chill Pepsi. OK, seriously, get the !$@% out.

In 1991, Pepsi got bored. They got bored with boring old Pepsi and boring old Cherry Pepsi. They got sick of having all that money and wanted to waste it, so they got together to come up with a surefire way to create the worst sodas on the market and create an epic pile of fail. And they did.

They came up with 3 new flavors that would be sold together as the "Pepsi Wild Bunch". It consisted of 3 new horrific flavors: Tropical Chill, Raging Razzberry, and Strawberry Burst.
If you blinked, you missed them, as they made it through a few test markets but never fully made it to the mainstream. I've heard some people claim that these new flavors "Weren't bad",
but to them I say "Well if they weren't so bad, then where are they now, Mr. Know-it-all?", only I wouldn't say know-it-all, I'd say something meaner in hopes of making them cry.
Oh, Boo Hoo......Clean-up, aisle 7.
Bring a mop.

Pepsi Wild Bunch is gone, and it's not really a remembered soda, but it is an extinct one, so it's going up on the shelves here at GBNF Groceries.

From the Cereal Aisle: Nerds

Nerds Cereal
Company: Ralston
Year: 1985

Nerds Cereal Front 80s
A short lived Cereal (if you consider a big bowl of sugar cereal), Nerds came and went just long enough to give us a super sugar high before disappearing for good, leaving thousands, possibly millions of children itching for a fix with no relief in sight (besides pouring milk on a big bowl of actual Nerds Candy, which as it turns out, is not very good). The Box came with 2 compartments just like the candy with a different flavor on each side. You could choose Orange/Cherry or Strawberry/Grape, and there was even an offer on the box where you could send in and get a bowl that was divided in two so you could even eat both flavors at once without mixing them.
Genius? OK, lets not get carried away. If it was really as good as I remembered it, it would have lasted a whole lot longer, and not been awarded the first item to be placed on the GBNF Grocery shelves.