From the Cereal Aisle - Fingos

Product: Fingos
Company: General Mills
Years: 1993-1994

I was doing some research on Fingos for this post, when my son walked up and asked "What are Fingos?".
I told him "It was an old cereal that was made so you could eat it with your hand."
His 8 year old mind thought for a second, then he says "All cereals can be eaten by hand if you don't add milk."

And he's right.

Which I guess is why this product flopped. You didn't need to market a cereal that can be eaten by hand since ALL cereals can be eaten by hand.

Fingo's was a strange offering from General Mills. It came in 2 flavors, Honey Oats and Cinnamon, and there was also a variety pack called "Fingos Singles" that had smaller snack packs of each flavor.

But nobody bought it, because they could see through the gimmick.

It also didn't help that "Fing" is the Hungarian word for passing gas, and the word "Fingos" translated to "He Farts a lot" in that language.

Which come to think of it, probably would have actually helped with sales, had they made that public. Well, it would have helped with sales among 6-13 year old boys, anyway.

Also, part of their sales slogan was "Anytime, anywhere", which sort of makes me feel like they are threatening to fight me.

Wanna go, Fingos? Huh? Let's go....you and me.....RIGHT NOW! (wait, what's that smell...)

Anyway, they didn't last, but this strange, flatulant, eager to fight cereal still deserves a spot on our shelves.
It was a swing and a miss for General Mills, but perhaps it was just a little before it's time, as there have been several other snackable cereal offerings similar to this in the recent years.

So do you remember eating these back in the early 90s?

Update! New WWF Superstars Cereal Box discovered!

 Well this was a neat find...

Ok, ok...I know it's not that exciting. But I came across this new WWF Superstars Cereal box staring Luke and Butch, or as we have come to know and love them, The Bushwackers. We've all seen the 4 known boxes, with Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, and the Road Warriors on them (as I covered here: WWF Superstars Cereal), but I recently had the opportunity to purchase this box, which I know nothing about, except that it came from someone who used to work for the company who printed all the Ralston boxes in the 80's and 90's. Among the common boxes he had, he also had a few of these Bushwackers boxes.

These are the "Common" 4 WWF Superstar boxes from the early 90s.

Was it the new box that was supposed to hit store shelves soon, but was abruptly pulled when the cereal was discontinued? I would love to get to the bottom of it, but for now, I'm just happy to have it in my collection.

How could you not love these loveable guys?

Expired Coupon Daze - Ghostbusters Cereal!

New! Ghost Busters Cereal - 1986

Coupon Expires - May 3, 1986

Boo! (hoo...)

From the Cereal Aisle: Sweet Wheats!

Product: Sweet Wheats! Cereal
Company: Nabisco
Years: 1971-197?

Image By Jason B. on Flickr

Come on, Nabisco....quit yelling. There is absolutely no need to use an exclamation point in the name of your early 70's cereal called "Sweet Wheats!". I mean, you even went as far as to not use all caps, instead choosing the subtle approach of using all lower case letters. But then, boom, you drop in that exclamation point all willy-nilly, and damn it Nabisco, it's unnecessary.

But then again, so was your cereal, Nabisco, as it only lasted 2 or 3 years tops.

I know what your all thinking: Kellogg's Mini Wheats.
Yep, I was thinking the same thing too. Mini Wheats were introduced in 1971, same time as Sweet Wheats!!!!!, but the original Kellogg's offering was actually the larger size. The bite size version wasn't around until 1980. So I won't go as far as to say Nabisco copied Kellogg's, or vice versa. They both had an idea for a lightly sweetened wheat cereal. Kellogg's won.
Probably because they DIDN'T YELL AT THEIR CUSTOMERS, NABISCO SWEET WHEATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nabisco did have a cool box design, with a quartet which included 3 children and a blue kangaroo, which from what I understand of the early 70's (mostly from watching Krofft), was completely normal. Willy, Milly, Big Boo and Blue Kangaroo. They would sit around all day, eating cereal, playing jams, playing with the Kanga-zoom that came free inside, and contemplating future career paths once the cereal was discontinued. 3 of them went on to form 80's pop group "Kajagoogoo",  and one ended up in the San Diego Zoo, which if you ask me is a horrible place to keep a little girl locked up.

What the hell was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, SWEET WHEATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cool box, not as cool of a cereal. Just another blip in the breakfast cereal history books.

From the Cereal Aisle: Undercover Bears Oatmeal

Product: Undercover Bears Oatmeal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1990 - ???

I was never a big oatmeal eater growing up, which is probably why I missed this interesting product from the early 90's: Undercover Bears Oatmeal.

General Mills took the wholesome goodness of oatmeal and the teeth sticking stickiness of gummi bears, combined them, came up with a loveable animal character to be the pitchman, put them in stores, failed to connect on a large scale with kids, lowered prices not once, but 3 times, remained unsuccessful, fired the marketing execs that came up with the idea in the first place, then pulled Undercover Bears from the store shelves, and wept.

I never heard of them until someone posted about them over at Cerealbits.com (check out the site for your fill of retro cereal box goodness!). So I did a little digging, and still didn't come up with much. I was hoping to find a scan of the box, but only found commercial stills and pictures from newpaper ads instead.

Basically, they were gummy bears that were coated in some sort of maple/brown sugar coating and hidden in the oatmeal, so when you the hot water, they bears would magically appear in your bowl!
AMAZING!!!!!!*

*actually only amazing to people who are easily amazed, such as kids, and some dumb adults.

These quite possibly were only around for a year, maybe two,  from the little info I could find. So if you remember them, hats off to you my oatmeal loving friends.

Researching these lead me to a lot of gimicky oatmeals from the 80's and 90's I had forgotten about, so I jotted them all down and will be sure to cover more of them here in the future.

Pinky swear.

From the Cereal Aisle: Carnation Breakfast Bars

Product: Carnation Breakfast Bar
Company: Carnation/Nestle
Years: 1975-1993 (?)

I had no idea people were so gaga over the Carnation Breakfast bar.
And not just regular old gaga, but like, "lets start multiple online petitions to bring them back" gaga.
People are trying to recreate the recipe and make their own.....
This discontinued product even has it's own Facebook page!  Settle down, people!

Image by Grickly

 Yes, people have been pining for these delicious treats since Nestle decided to pull them from the shelves. I'm not sure exactly when they were discontinued, or WHY they were discontinued, but some of the last Newspaper advertisements I could find for them were right around 1992/93, so I'm marking that as the extinction date.

I actually do remember eating these when I was little, especially on camping trips or car rides to the cottage......or as an after school snack. It was a semi-nutritious meal replacement. Sort of the grandfather to the thousands of "Energy/Meal" bars on the market today. But the genius thing about the Carnation bars is that they covered the things in chocolate. Fact and point, kids will eat anything covered in chocolate. It sort of blurs the lines between adult food and kids food. It's covered in chocolate? Sure, I'll try it.

They came in various flavors over the years - The original flavors were Chocolate Crumb, Chocolate Chip, Granola with Peanut butter, Granola with Raisins, and Granola with Cinnamon. Over teh years, other flavors were added, such as Chocolate Coconut Crunch, Caramel Nut Crunch, and Chocolate Malted Milk Crunch (this is the one I remember most, as I wasn't really a fan of Malted milk, but for some reason my mom always bought it).

And more important then feeding the masses of hungry 70's/80's kids, it was the official snack on the Space Shuttle Columbia. That's right.....MF'n astronauts ate them in space. Amazing.

Unfortunately, like the US space program, it's been discontinued. Hopefully, if there is any intelligent life out there, we will one day see these return to store shelves everywhere. Now if I can just find a petition to sign........

like here, or here, or here.........

Back from the Dead for Halloween!!! Monsters!!!! (Well, Monster Cereals, anyway...)

 Sometimes they come back.......the Return of Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy!

A little different post today to make everyone aware (thought it seems like everyone has known about and been extremely excited for these for a while now) that General Mills has brought back two of it's Gone but not Forgotten Cereals for Halloween, Yummy Mummy and the legendary Frute Brute! I've talked about them before, but a few months ago when I heard they were coming back from the dead, I was genuinely excited, as I'm sure most of you were. Both these cereals have been gone for 20+ years, so it's quite exciting (and an A+++++ for General Mills) to see a company listening to the cries of us thirtysomethingers (that's a word, right?) to bring back the cereals that we miss from our childhood. Simply bringing them back would have been enough for most people, but like me, I remember a lot of people saying "Wouldn't it be cool if they not only brought them back, but brought back the original packaging that we all loved so much?" As it turned out, General Mills was doing their homework, because the next day it was announced that they would be available for a limited time,  IN THEIR ORIGINAL PACKAGING, from Target! Simply amazing. The nerd in me made plans to check Target each and every day until I found these (which sadly I still haven't spotted them in my area), but I did get a surprise prize package in the mail from General Mills (provided through MyBlogSpark) containg 3 of the 5 boxes, Boo Berry, Frute Brute, and Yummy Mummy.

So I did what any 30+ year old would do who is longing for the simpler times that were his youth would do: I woke up with my kids early one Saturday Morning, popped in a DVD which contained a 3 hour block of cartoons with Original Commercials from my youth (1984 to be exact), and cracked open all 3 boxes of cereal, which my kids and I quickly devoured.

Boo Berry and Frute Brute were the first to go, followed up by Yummy Mummy. It was a glorious morning, and my kids and I loved them all. I have to thank General Mills for doing this. I can't help but think that they will have a spike in sales simply from people like myself, as I know some of my internet buddies are buying 2...3....even 4 boxes at a time. Stock up, and display the boxes proudly! (We all know how much the original Fruit Brute boxes go for, so the Retro box will have to do for now!)
I still need to hunt down the Count Chocula and Frankenberry retro boxes to finish my collection, and I will continue to check Target until I find them.

And if having the retro boxes of love wasn't enough, if you purchase 3 retro boxes at Target between now and October 31st you will get a Monster Bash magazine, which contains tips and tricks for making your Halloween the spookiest and creepiest Halloween ever, and its FREE when you purchase 3 boxes in a single shopping trip. So what are you waiting for! Stock up while you can!!! The clock is ticking, and Halloween is almost here!!!

Once again, I want to thank General Mills for making this retro nerd happy this Halloween season (It's a Halloween miracle!) I'd also like to thank MyBlogSpark for sending me the boxes of love!

Get more information from General Mills here! www.grocerysavvy.com

(Disclosure: The information and prize pack have been provided by General Mills through MyBlogSpark.)

From the Cereal Aisle: Bran News

Product: Bran News Cereal
Company: Ralston
Years: 1988 - ?

 Just a quick post today, and it's only because I'm always amazed when I run across cereals I've never heard of before that were from my lifetime, as I think I was rather observant when it came to the cereal aisle on a Tuesday night while shopping with mom back in the 80's. But really, when I look at this product, it's easy to figure out why it never got my attention.

Bran.

Bran is not fun. Nobody likes bran. The only people who eat bran are only eating it because they have to for a medical reason, and if they tell you otherwise, they are damn dirty liars. Kids especially don't like bran. I mean, just the sound of it...........bran. BRaaaaaaaan. BrAaAaAaAn.

No thanks mom. I'll just starve instead.

But wait, there's a touch of cinnamon!!! Doesn't matter, if you put a bow tie on a turd, it's still a turd.
They also tried an apple cinnamon version. What did they expect to happen when you have BRAN in your name.

I'm guessing that if you are under the age of 40, you also don't remember Bran News.
What a stupid name. It sounds like you should be eating a bowl of shredded newspaper.
The only person who probably would remember this is my grandma, because she used to eat a lot of bran (as old people often will), but I can't ask her, because she's not alive anymore. And I imagine all the bran had something to do with it. No proof, just a hunch.

Seriously, if I can get 5 people to respond that they actually remember this cereal, I'll eat a giant bowl of bran myself.

Guess I'll be safe.

From the Cereal Aisle: Rice Cream Flakes

Product: Rice Cream Flakes
Company: Nabisco
Years: 1968-????




This has to be hands down one of the more interesting ideas I've ever seen for a breakfast Cereal. It was the late 60's, and the country was all about free love, drugs, and doing what felt good. And what felt good to one Nabisco employee was to eat ice cream for breakfast. Not just any ice cream, mind you, but freeze dried ice cream. "THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!!" I imagine employees chanting as they carefully formulated this concoction known as Rice Cream Flakes, the smash hit from Nabisco that was going to be the future of breakfast for kids and adults across this great nation of ours.

The cereal itself was a rice cereal, but the kicker is that they covered the flakes with this Freeze Dried Ice cream they purchased from Oregon Freeze Dried Foods. There were 3 varieties, Chocolate, Vanilla, and Strawberry. Everyone smiled and cheered! VIVA LA ICE CREAM!!!! Let's put it into mass production! USA! USA!USA!

Oh, 2 small problems. It's 1968, and there aren't that many companies out there producing the volume of Freeze Dried Ice Cream that Nabisco needed for mass production of this. And the one company they had been using, Oregon Freeze Dried Foods, was shutting down.

So what should have been a national smash hit in the cereal game turned out to be nothing more then a successful regional test market that left people wanting more, but there was no more to be had. None more Rice Cream Flakes.

Anyone else thinking it's time to bring these back?

From the Cereal Aisle: Buc Wheats

Product: Buc Wheats Cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1971-1983

Picture by Bolio88

I am not generally a fan of flakes when it comes to my breakfast cereals. Honey Toasted, Frosted, Corn, Bran.....flakes of any kind really. Maybe it's the awkwardness of the flake shape, and the sharp roof of the mouth piercing edges that they often produce. Maybe it's the negative connotation that the work "Flake" has:

FLAKE

n. An unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through.

1. John forgot to show up for work again this month. He's such a flake. 

I'm petty sure my parents knew my opposition to flake based cereals growing up, which is why I don't recall a box of Buc Wheats cereal ever entering our house. I'm sure it was delicious...I mean.....look at the nice.......brown box..........with that bowl of brown flakes........and the exciting "Wildlife Print" offer on the back of the box.......who needs fun prizes like baking soda submarines, or Garfield bike reflectors.......I'll be the only kid on my block with a Les Kouba deer print...........exciting. *crickets*

Buc Wheats were pretty popular for a while, mostly because of the Maple glaze that was gently brushed over each flake with butterfly wings (I can't prove that). But then for some reason in the early 80s, they changed the formula. Instead of a maple glaze, they changed to a honey glaze. And I'm sure you can imagine the anarchy that erupted when people realized what General Mills had done. General Mills headquarters was stormed by angry townspeople and burned to the ground. The cereal aisles ran red with the blood of GM executives.
That's what I imagine anyway. Hey, I was like 6 at the time, I can't remember a lot. It's much cooler then imagining people just not buying the cereal anymore...even if that's more or less what happened. 

Image by CheshireCat666

Buc Wheats had a good 10 year run as the "Sticky Wheaties of the 70's", but the change in the sweetener proved to be too much for most people, and poof, it was gone.

Maybe you have fond memories of this cereal. Maybe you wish it would make it's triumphant return to Cereal Aisles across America.......hell, across the globe.

I don't. But then again, I'm pretty much a flake.

From the Cereal Aisle: WWF Superstars

WWF Superstars Cereal
Company: Ralston-Purina
Years: 1991-?

Photo by poptartsbox

Now entering the ring, from Ralston-Purina, weighing in at 14.25 oz....no, you aren't imagining things, it really did happen, the Cereal that turns heads and puts the "Stare" back into "Steroids" (yeah, yeah, I know.....), its WWF SUPERSTARS CEREAAAAAALLLLLL!

Back in the early 90's Ralston-Purina and WWF teamed up to bring the smack-down to your mouth with their new cereal, WWF Superstars. It was available in 4 certain to make your parents wonder what is wrong with you collectors boxes including The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, and the Legion of Doom. The cereal itself was lightly sweetened star shapes that I swear was used in about 4 other cereals and just repurposed for this short lived money-making adventure. Children loved the WWF. Parents love their children. Children beg parents to get the cereal with the oiled up half naked men with face paint/bondage gear on the front. Parents think "Sure, why not?" Children spend hours on therapist couch some 20 years later trying to figure it all out.

Look, I'm not saying Superstars cereal or WWF is to blame for us 30+ year olds that have messed up lives. I watched WWF through most of the 80's, stopped for a while, then picked it up again from about 96-2001 (though I haven't watched it since). But I am saying that we can't talk about WWF Superstars cereal without doing a "Where are they now" on the cover models. Here's the cliffs notes version:
Hogan just had a sex tape leaked, Warrior changed his legal name to "Warrior" (just Warrior...like Sting, or Madanna) and is now a conservative speaker denouncing left wing politics ("Queering doesn't make the world work" is one of his gems), and if I'm not mistaken, one of the guys from Legion of Doom had a serious drug and alcohol problem and died at a young age of a heart attack.

Exactly the people I want my kids to be staring at every morning while they get their breakfast on.

But hey, I grew up watching them, and I turned out alright. Or at least that's what my therapist tells me.

Here's a fun game! What other WWF wrestlers who wrestled in the 80's/90's and went on to have tragic lives could have also been on the boxes of WWF Superstars? Benoit? Owen Hart? In an industry that turns out so many broken lives and shattered dreams, the possibilites must be endless! Post your ideas below! And if you're an angry WWF/WWE fan who thinks I shouldn't be making fun of them, your opinions matter to me! Please email me at WWFisAwesome1981@compuserve.com.

From the Cereal Aisle: S'mores Crunch

S'mores Crunch Cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1982-1988

Photo by Greg Koenig

Of all the cereals from my childhood, S'mores Crunch has to be in my top 5 cereals I'd bring back if I ever ran for President of the United States and won. Which in this day and age, with all the money floating around the elections, is pretty tough to do. I mean, sure, maybe if some of you chipped in and started a Super PAC for me and were able to donate a few million dollars each, then maybe. But as it sits right now, it's a long shot at best, so you can probably just count on S'mores Crunch remaining discontinued, and that's a damn shame. Because it was delicious.

Launched in 1982, S'mores Crunch was, to put it simply, Golden Grahams with marshmallows.
But when you cut down to the core of what made it great, it was more then that......it was truly special. It was grahams. It was chocolate. It was marshmallow. It was rainbows. It was unicorns. It was love.

It was all those things in a bowl (but mostly just the first 3).

You might remember the commercials for S'mores, which not unlike every kids cereal commercial made from the dawn of man, involved some kids trying to get some cereal. Then they run into a problem (someone steals their cereal / someone traps them in a cage and keeps them from getting their cereal / they get hit by a bus). Luckily, they have some help getting them to their beloved cereal. In this case, they are helped by The S'morecerer. He takes them out of the horrible situation they are in (trapped in a room with a Nickleback album playing over and over and over again) and drops them right smack dab in front of a big bowl of S'mores, and after finishing their cereal, one of the kids cleverly says "Can I have S'more?"
HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaaaaaa...........you stupid kid, no you can't have any more, it's been discontinued.

In the late 80's Smores Crunch tried to rebrand itself as S'mores Grahams, and it lasted a few more years into the early 90's, but it was finally discontinued for good after the great marshmallow famine of 1992. Or it just wasn't selling as well as it had been. It was one of those two things I think.

Photo by Jason Liebig

In 2003, Kelloggs ripped off the idea and came out with a cereal called Smorz which was a @%*#*!$ travesty to all things holy. It wasn't the same at all. It was a cheap knockoff of a cheap knockoff of a once great cereal. So I just pretend it never happened. Kind of like The Hangover 2.

Finally, an observation: Is anyone else kind of creeped out by the cartoon marshmallow on the box? I mean, on the S'mores Crunch box, it looks like him, Chocolate and Graham Cracker are all buds, just hanging out, smiling......waiting for you to take them home and love them. But then, on the S'mores Grahams box, Marshmallow has decided to eat his friends, like some sort of Marshzombie.
Just an observation I had. Probably means nothing.

Or does it? (note to self - load guns for impending zombie marshmallow apocalypse.)

From the Cereal Aisle: Body Buddies

Product: Body Buddies Cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1983-?

I realize that in the Cereal business, it's hard to come up with an original concept. It's all been done before a zillion times, and with every truly new cereal that hits the market, there will be people saying it's just like Cereal X, Y or Z.
Enter "Body Buddies".

It's just Kix, right? I mean, look at it........Exact same f'ing cereal. Come on, General Mills. Lets see a little effort once in a while.

Body Buddies was promoted as a "healthy" cereal for kids, packed with 16 vitamins and minerals that your kids will surely love, if they in fact tried this cereal, which they won't, because it's just Kix, which they already hate.

The kids/mascots on the boxes were known as the Body Buddies or some shit. They did fun, healthy activities, like kicking a soccer ball, wearing a cowboy hat, or riding in a poorly constructed soapbox car with pink wheels that just screamed "Look at me, I'm Fabulous!"

Body Buddies came in 2 flavors, Fruit Flavor and a Honey Flavor (Kix? Seriously...). They weren't around for very long, which was good for kids, because they could once again concentrate all their hate back onto the Kix their parents kept buying. Would it hurt you to get a box of Count Chocula every once in a while, mom? Jeesh.

But the thing I hate most about Body Buddies cereal is that every time I say or hear the name "Body Buddies" I picture the opening to the also short lived but hit TV show "Bosom Buddies" staring Tom Hanks and that other guy. And then the theme song gets stuck in my head.

Do we miss Body Buddies Cereal? Not nearly as much as we miss the tv show Bosom Buddies. And nowhere near as much as we hate Kix.

OK, as much as I hate Kix.

From the Cereal Aisle: C-3PO's

Product: C-3POs
Company: Kelloggs
Years: 1984-?

Look, I realized early it was Star Wars day today. The "May the 4th be with you...." texts, tweets and Facebook posts kept rolling in early and often. So I felt it my duty to pay it forward, just like Haley Joel Osment, only I'm an adult and nowhere near as rich as that kid is. You know, the Sixth Sense kid. Yeah, that's the one.

But you know what I have that he doesn't?

I have the lasting memories of waking up early on Saturday mornings with a huge bowl of C-3POs cereal. ("And I'll take that over a Lamborghini any day" I say as I start to sob......)                                               

C3POs came out of the all out media/branding assault that was the Star Wars franchise in the early 80's. Kelloggs climbed on board and produced this product, which by all accounts, was actually a pretty tame and boring cereal considering how big the movies were.  No sprinkles.....no marshmallows....The cereal pieces were shaped like little golden number 8's.

"Why?" you ask?

It says on the side of the box that "The unique double-O shape gives you 2 crunches in every bite - a unique experience in all the galaxy."

OK, stop there. I'm calling bullshit. 2 crunches in every bite? What if I bite down across both O's at the same time? I mean, how do they know that it's going to go "Crunch/Crunch" and not just "Crunch"? Was there a study group? Did they do months of research? Was Lucas watching me through my kitchen window?

C3PO's came and went in a short period of time, but most people remember them because they remember the Star Wars Trilogy from their youth, and this was just another fraction of it that takes them back to those fond memories they made in the early 80's. 

I'm not going to lie, I recently purchased a box off ebay for my collection.

Hey, it's a cool looking box, even if the product inside turned out to not be the droids, er, cereal, I was looking for. 

Move along.

     

From the Cereal Aisle......

 

Products: Video Game Cereals (Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Pac-Man, Nintendo Cereal

Companies: Ralston & General Mills

Years: Pac-Man (1983), Donkey Kong (1982), Donkey Kong Jr. (1983), Nintendo (1988)

When I think of the 80's, 3 things really stand out in my head. The Video Game crazy, Saturday Mornings with my favorite box of cereal, and that time in 3rd grade that Brett Peterson game me an atomic wedgie after lunch because I wouldn't give him my pudding cup.
2 of those things gave me enjoyment that I look back upon with much happiness. (the other one I'm still trying to forget. 3rd graders can be so mean.) Cereal and Video games go hand in hand, so much so that in the 80's they crossed over from your Atari/NES systems right into your cereal bowl.

Donkey Kong Cereal (1982)

Image by Jason Liebig

The first of the big Video Game cereals, Donkey Kong first took over the video game world (overtaking the sales of Pac-Man in 1981), then made it's way into the cereal aisle in 82. Was sold with the tag ling "Crunchy Barrels of Fun", but should have just been sold as "Captain Crunch Knockoff", because that is basically what it was.

Pac-Man Cereal (1983)

Image by Gregg Koenig

Not to be outdone, General Mills came out with Pac-Man Cereal in 1983. Branded as "crunchy sweetened corn cereal with marshmallow bits", the marshmallows were shaped like Pac-Man, and the ghost: Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde. Mrs. Pac-Man Marshmallows were later added. The cereal itseld would be like if you took an extra sweetened Kix and threw in Lucky Charms Marshmallows for good measures. Sounds like a lot of sugar. I guess kids wanted to be just like Pac-Man: void of teeth.

Donkey Kong Jr., Cereal (1983)

Image by Bolia88

Ralston couldn't stand seeing Pac-Man cereal cutting into their profits from Donkey Kong Cereal, so naturally, they followed up just as they had with the video games, and introduced Donkey Kong Jr., Cereal. "DKJC", as it was often called by nobody, was a fruit flavored cereal with little banana and berry shaped pieces. It was a fun and overly sweet cereal, as were many of the best cereals in the 80's.

Nintendo Cereal (1988)

Image by Jason Liebig

In the mid to late 80's, the Nintendo Entertainment System became the gaming console of the world, leaving Atari in it's dust. So it was only natural that they capture some of that crazy in the form of cereal.
Much like Nerds Cereal, the box was split into 2 sections. On one side, you has Super Mario Brothers Cereal (Fruit-flavored Marios, Mushrooms and Goomas). On the other, Zelda Adventure Cereal (Berry-flavored Links, Hearts and Shields.)
"Nintendo Cereal System. If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em. "

Nicely done, Nintendo.....nicely done.

From the Cereal Aisle: Crazy Cow

Product: Crazy Cow cereal
Company: General Mills
Years: 1977-?

If you ever see a Crazy Cow, turn the other way, and run. You don't want to mess with them. Hundreds of people are severely injured or killed every year by Crazy Cows. I have no facts to back that up, so don't ask for them. But my mom says I'm a pretty trustworthy person, so it's cool.

However, if you ever see a box of Crazy Cow cereal on the shelves, it means that General Mills is bringing back their hit cereal from the late 70's, and you should purchase that box right away. Take it home, pour yourself a bowl, and laugh with delight as your milk turns chocolatey brown (or pink for you Strawberry fans.) Then, enjoy.

Crazy Cow hit the shelves in late 1976/early 1977 and took the cereal aisle by storm. The gimmick? General Mills took your basic Kix and covered them in a powder (Chocolate or Strawberry) that dissolved in milk and left you with a sweet flavored bowl of deliciousness. And who cares if there was no real chocolate or Strawberries in them (as the box proclaimed "artificially flavored".)

Another cool thing about Crazy cow was the box, as they perfectly captured the dangers of a Crazy Cow in their Cartoon rendering: Wears a hat? Crazy. Stands on it's hind legs? Crazy. Has teeth that could gnaw off your face? Creepy.
And Crazy.

Sadly, the cereal was just a short lived fad and didn't last in stores, but the memories still remain in our hearts. We miss you, Crazy Cow.

From the Cereal Aisle: PB&J

Product: PB&J Cereal
Company: Quaker
Years: 1982-not long after that

Here is a quick post about a product that was given to us and ripped away just as quickly. It was a cereal called PB&J. It was a limited release from what I understand and lasted maybe a year if it was lucky. Which probably explains why I can find very little info about it and have never seen an actual PB&J box, only animation cells like his one.

PB was the name of the main Character, an Explorer by trade, and J was his trusty sidekick dog. They donned matching white suits and pith helmets, and brought us a wonderful Breakfast treat.

But Quaker took it all away from us. The Cereal never took off the way Quaker had hoped, and PB and his dog J disappeared. I think they were murdered. I'll let you know when I can prove it.

So how come there hasn't been another attempt at a Peanut Butter and Jelly cereal? I mean, we have seen lots of Peanut Butter cereals, and Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cereals, but why not PB&J? I think it would be hugely popular. I know my kids would love it. I mean, they love that horrible song (It's Peanut Butter Jelly time! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!)
So awful.

Were you one of the lucky ones who actually got to eat this breakfast treat? Were you living in the areas this was marketed back in the early 80s and remember it? Let us know!

From the Cereal Aisle: Powdered Donutz Cereal

Powdered Donutz
Company: General Mills
Years: 1980-83/84


Powdered Donutz Cereal (using the Z instead of the S before it was cool to do that) was basically a fat powdered Cheerio. They didn't think that was a very good slogan, so they went with their second choice, "A Crispy, Sweetened 3 Grain Cereal".
Doesn't quite catch the eye like "Just A Fat Powdered Cheerios", does it?
I don't honestly remember this cereal either, but what was with all the Donut Cereals in the 80's/90's? Powdered Donutz, Dinky Donuts, Dunkin Donuts Cereal.....
Anyway, much like Urkel-Os, General Mills tried to dress up Cheerios and give it a new name, but to no avail. It was around to see the early 80's and then it was gone.

What did you think of Powdered Donutz Cereal?

From the Cereal Aisle: OJ's

OJ's Cereal
Company: Kellogg's
Year: 1985-87


image by dustincropsboy

You don't see a lot of orange flavored cereals, and there is a very good reason. People enjoy drinking a glass of OJ with their morning cereal, not pouring it directly over the cereal. Orange flavored milk? Ugh.

OJ's was a fun new cereal when it came out in 1985. It claimed that "every bowl had the Vitamin C of a 4 oz glass of Orange Juice. Plus a delicious Orange taste your kids will love!"

Well, they didn't. It lasted for just under 2 years and was gone.

The cereal did have one thing going for it, a cool mascot called OJ Joe, a cattleman who rode around on an orange and corralled and roped other oranges that he then took to the Orange Processing Factory where they were brutally squeezed to death to make the very cereal that he was on the front of. The humanity.

If you remember OJ's and were a fan, you can sign an online petition that's out there trying to get Kelloggs to bring it back: http://www.petitiononline.com/bjchsdcb/petition.html

And if you have any memories, be sure to comment below.

From the Cereal Aisle: Urkel-Os

Urkel-Os
Company: Ralston
Years: 1991-?

In the early 90's, Urkel-mania swept the nation. I don't think I need to go into who Urkel was, because if you don't know you must have either been in a coma or not born yet (which in either case you can google it and find tons of info).

Lets just say he was a TV nerd, but not just any TV Nerd, a lovable TV nerd. But not just a lovable tv nerd, a lovable tv nerd WITH HIS OWN BREAKFAST CEREAL! (Take that Skippy from Family Ties).

Urkel-Os were strawberry and banana flavored rings that came in a box plastered with pictures of Urkel. There were 9 different boxes, just incase you wanted to collect them all to complete your shrine to Jaleel White (once again, coma patients and young people, just Google Jaleel White). On the back of the box there was a "Help Urkel Find Laura" game. Who's Laura you ask? Seriously? Haven't we established already that I'm not going to dive into the Family Matters universe, or even get my toes wet for that matter? Google.

The cereal was nothing new and exciting, just Ralston looking to cash in on the flavor of the day (Ralson was good at this, which we'll see in future posts). It lasted for a few years until the show started to loose its appeal when it was discontinued from store shelves. Boxes are still pretty easy to come by on Ebay (people must be taking down their shrines finally...)