Friday, October 19, 2012

From the "Not Really a Grocery Store Product but Still Something You'd shove in your Piehole" Dept.

I'm going to break from my standard post format for this one, because it's not an item that you would have bought in a Grocery store, so it sort of disqualifies it from Gone But Not Forgotten Groceries, but it still falls in the "Foods of Days Past" and "Hey, I remember eating those" category. Not to mention it certainly falls into the "What the $#@%" and "You're gonna die if you eat that" category as well.

So Maybe you've already heard about this news story.

A man named Mort Bank from Bismarck N.D. was cleaning out his basement one day and came across an item from his days of owning/operating a McDonalds restaurant. The item? A gallon jug of McDonalds special McJordon BBQ Sauce, circa 1992.

You see, 20 years ago, McDonalds was selling (for a limited time only!) a burger called the "McJordon" in honor of Chicago Bulls star Michael Jordon. The burger was a quarter-pound hamburger with smoked bacon, cheese, McJordan barbecue sauce, onions, mustard and pickle, which I guess, were all of Michael Jordan's favorite ingredients on a burger. The "McJordon" was sold only in limited markets in the United States, but later that year was sold nationwide with it's name changed to the "Big 33".

So Mort did what he does with all his old McDonalds items he has lying around: He put it up on ebay.
Because hey, you never know. But Mort really did know one thing: There are idiots on ebay with a LOT of money just burning a hole in their pockets/purses/old timey sacks with "$" stamped on the front, and he found that person. The winning bid came from an undisclosed person from Chicago, and it was exactly what you would expect any rational human being to pay for a pretty plain looking bottle of expired 20 year old BBQ sauce celebrating a retired NBA star: $9,995.

I'm not kidding. Someone paid just shy of 10 grand for this now lethal burger topping.

Which leads me to believe one of 2 things: The buyer was either a HUGE Bulls/Jordon fan with way too much money, or it was someone who has figured out how to successfully time travel. They take the bottle in their DeLorean (or phonebooth if the buyer was either Bill or Ted) back to about 1991. They get in touch with the owner of McDonalds, and they tell that clown "Hey, we've got a great idea for a burger, and we've concocted this special BBQ sauce for it! Now give us 5 million dollars!"

Which forces me to ask the bigger question here: If you take expired food products back though time before the expiration date, do they become edible again?

Someone needs to do some research, and it may as well be me. Quick, find me a box of Fruit Brute and a Tardis......


  1. To be fair, while $10k is too much, an untouched 20 year old bottle of sauce for a limited-time burger (celebrating a sports star) is quite something to own.

  2. I don't doesn't even have a cool package or anything. I could think of lots of cooler old packages and products to buy with that kind of money. Maybe it's someone from Burger King and they are going to reverse engineer it and get the recipe? Watch for a new Kobe Burger (made with Kobe beef, of course...) or a LeBron Bacon Slam Burger, or some other horribly named promo burger from BK in the coming months.....

  3. The McJordan was a damn good burger.

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